Quiet Saturday Night

It is my second quiet Saturday evening in a row. Some people would think that sounds lame--I should be out--chillin' with friends; enjoying a party; going on a date, for Pete's sake. Yet, I am quite content here at home this evening. I have been working on a various photography projects and tasks, with music to set a peaceful atmosphere in which I find rest this evening rather than social connection.

Saturdays are actually my best social days. I am socially "on" throughout the week, and my 'me-time' comes only in little doses after work each day. By Friday evening, I have very few resources left with which to meet any social demands. I usually take Friday evenings to be by myself, and I like it that way. Saturdays, however, are a completely different story. I am generally spoiled with the ability to sleep in on Saturdays, which renders me well-rested. I then spend the late morning and into the afternoon puttering around my condo, and maybe--maybe--running a couple errands. Whatever my Saturday daytime agenda is, it is rarely taxing. And it is generally independent. So by the time Saturday evening rolls around, I am so ready for whatever it is I've been invited to, or have organized, or am part of.

So then why am I sitting at home tonight, you ask? Well, mostly cuz there just doesn't seem to be anything going on. And believe it or not, in the introvert's world, this is okay.

It is a delicate balance for an introvert to manage the social requirements of work and extracurricular activities throughout the week and still have enough energy for friends and weekend socializing. In high school, this balance was easy, cuz I had such a set routine which was not all that socially taxing. School was for learning, not so much for constant social interaction. And it's not like I went out anywhere in the evenings (okay, there was youth group--one evening a week; some weeks I'd love to go back to having just one evening activity!). Then I hit university and found I oscillated a bit between overdoing it socially and then having to recover over the next few days. It's tough to be an introvert whose primary love language is Quality Time. I would so often be torn between wanting to participate in whatever was going on (cuz so much had the potential to be the greatest times ever) and wanting to just spend time in my dorm room watching TV or reading a book (but then I might miss whatever cool was going on!).

Somewhere along the way, I started paying more attention to my social self. I judged how I was doing in the moment, and I started judging how the events of that day were impacting how I felt about upcoming social activities. This wasn't really a conscious decision, like "I will monitor my social behaviour", but more just a sense that I knew I had to balance myself better, so I ended up just being more 'aware' of myself socially. I started finding that I could generally tell when I was more likely to be sociable, and when I was going to need some down time. For example, I would know on the Monday of a typical work-week that I would need down time by Thursday or Friday, and would indicate this to my ex so that he would a) not take it personally, and b) not schedule us to go have supper with friends or something.

The art that is this social balance took several years to master, and I am quite proud of my ability to do so. Occasionally, I still overdo it, but those times are few and far between.

My next couple weeks are going to be a but busier than average. Lots on the extracurricular plate going on. I am looking forward to all of it, but it means I have to take into account the different social dynamic. So here's to a quiet Saturday night!