No Agenda

I've misplaced my day timer. Well, no. I'm pretty sure I know where it's at. I'm 99% sure it's in my house (the one I'm moving into next month and therefore can't get into right now), but my realtor said she couldn't find it when she went to look for it. I could get a new one, but September is a strange time to buy a new day timer--they don't really make 16-month day timers the way they do calendars. It's kind of expensive to get a new day timer for not even four months. And I have a lot of information in my current day timer from over time that has come in handy throughout the year. I want my day timer. But I'm trying to wait until I take possession in just under a month. My realtor was really nice to go look for it in the middle of her day; I don't want to ask to meet her there one more time. I'll try to wait.

It's a bit more challenging not having my agenda with me. I'm living off Post-it notes. Meetings, doctor's appointments, out-of-the-ordinary respite. My brain is oddly good with numbers (thanks, Dad), but it's a pretty tall order to trust it with an indefinite time frame. I'm not that good. ...Challenging.

And then along comes today. Saturday. In a completely different sense, I also have no agenda. As in, I had no obligations today. I could play out today however I chose. So. I chose super comfy clothes. I chose to pick up my camera, lenses, and tripod. I chose to leave my car and take the train. I chose to take advantage of this impromptu summer day in the middle of autumn. And I chose to capture elements of it in pictures.

During the week, I like to know what activities I have going on. They're generally things I like to do and/or can look forward to in the dull moments of my day. Still, my week is delineated in these set blocks of time; I enjoy these activities at a pace set by the start time of the next thing (whether that be small group, respite, or bed time). I try to keep my Saturdays as agenda-free as possible. Today, it afforded me the time to lie on my belly and get just the right close-up of a feather in the grass. It allowed me to tackle a decent chunk of a book I'm working through. It allowed for an impromptu social meet-up that didn't end with, "well, I gotta run!" And it allowed for maximum enjoyment of the sunny blessing that was poured over the city today!

No Post-its today.

I am Moving!

I am moving.
I wrap fragile items in paper.
I pack them into a box.
I think about all the things I need in a house that I didn't need before.
     A lawn mower;
     A snow shovel;
     A compost bin.
I am choosing paint colours in my head.
I think about all the things I have in a house that I didn't have before.
     A pantry;
     A guest bedroom;
     A basement!
I make a list of all the businesses who need my new address.
I call the furnace cleaning company.
I pack another box.
I mentally arrange--and rearrange--furniture.
I enlist help from friends.
I get a little excited!
I feel like one month is forever away.
I hear the neighbour thump on the floor upstairs
     and smile,
          because soon that won't exist.
I can't wait to be able to park my car in a garage!
I book a trailer.
I look around at three years of growing
I smile at the growing that will happen in my new house.
I am moving.

Seasonally Torn

Hudson's had billboards around Edmonton this summer advertising its patio. They were horrible. In June, the billboards stated, "only 18 weeks until it snows" with details about the patio in smaller print underneath. In mid-August the signs had changed to, "only 10 weeks until it snows." Driving through Edmonton in a tank top and shorts, with the windows rolled down and the sun warm upon my skin, my brain's happy functioning screeched to a halt every time I drove past one of those billboards. Even though I was basked in warmth, sunglasses on, with summer tunes exuding from my car's speakers, reading the word 'snow' raised up an instant reactionary urge to hunker down in my bed under my feather comforter and hide from the dark and cold. My fellow sunshine-loving friend captures the feeling exactly: "it makes me hurt on the inside."

I just love summer. This summer felt particularly short after two years of unseasonably warm Augusts and Septembers. I have been adjusting to the beginnings of autumn relatively well, I think, but the word 'snow' is still quite painful. And yet...

I was flipping through a magazine this evening, and showcased on this one page were several styles of winter boots that are 'in' this season. This reminded me of my own winter boots, which were new last year. Currently, my winter boots are sitting in a box in N&S's garage, waiting to move into my as-of-yet-unpurchased house. But looking at all those boots in the magazine, and thinking of how wonderful my boots were last year, I suddenly craved winter. Well, maybe not so much winter. But my boots. Last winter, my feet stayed SO warm! With each snowy footprint, it was as if my boots were saying, "ha! Take that, snow!" I don't crave winter, exactly, but the toasty, comfortable feeling of things like warm boots, crackling fire places, cozy blankets while watching TV. ...Except... these things only come with winter. So torn.

I changed over my coffee and kitchen table centerpieces to autumn decor the other day. Their colours are warm. Their ginger-cinammon-y scent brings to mind leaves crunching underfoot, late afternoon sun glowing through yellow trees, crisps and crumbles for dessert. ...All pleasant.

Hello, again, autumn.

I'll Take the Glacier

At the beginning of April, I put my condo up for sale. I endured five full months of keeping my place painstakingly clean, watching interest rates go up, and sale prices go down, and playing the waiting game in a slow market. A couple weeks ago, someone finally showed enough interest to make an offer! A bit of back-and-forth between realtors left me with a final offer that was lower than I wanted, but higher than I really deserved. Would it go through? ...I waited again.

The conditions were set to be lifted on the same day that I was leaving to go backpacking with friends. Would I find out my condo's fate before I lost cell reception in the mountains? ...Sure enough, as we were loading packs and tents into my friend's truck, my phone rings. The condo sold. I can celebrate! The excitement of knowing I would soon be in a house laced its way throughout conversation over the weekend. My friends were just as thrilled as I was!

The entire weekend was just so wrapped in blessing! Hiking a total of 30km through God's creation; spending time with seven friends who are gifted in seven unique ways... I was in a place where I could be energized, encouraged, and open. It was such a safe space to be in; it is hard to describe it accurately with words, even though I have been in this abundantly blessed place numerous times. No running water, mild amounts of rain, wind gusts, temperatures typical of mid-fall rather than late summer, risk of bears, a smelly outhouse, blisters on my feet, achy shoulders... and I'm at peace?!

In the quiet of the forest, I feel peace.
In the crackle of the fire, I feel warmth.
In the rustle of the trees, I am humbled.
In the thumping of my heart, I feel alive.
In the circle of conversation, I am accepted.
In the hugs and high fives, I feel loved.
In all these things, I am blessed.

Upon return home, I got right into the week's activities. On top of work, appointments, respite, and general errands, my newly sold condo (!) meant number crunching and house viewing. Thankfully, I can still afford a house (although I would not complain if I right now stumbled into a random windfall of money!). Still, the half dozen or so I viewed just yesterday were not really worth getting excited about. ...And such will be my routine for the next few weeks.

What a brain full.

Can I go back to my glacier?