It didn't take me long to find a word for 2011, which I hope means I'm ready for the challenge. Spontaneity. To put it simply, I suck at being spontaneous. I'm an introverted, type A personality, which--in a nutshell--means I like to know what's going to happen and when, so that I know I have the energy to engage in it fully. So the ability to just drop what I'm doing and say, "sure, let's go for it!" is a rare occurrence.
On the plus side, when I have been completely spontaneous, it surprises the pants off people, which is kind of fun. But I think--overall--I'd like to be a little more care free and not have it be such a complete shock.
What is it about just letting go and doing things in the moment that seems so difficult?
- Energy -- whatever it is sounds like fun, but I don't know that I want to do it if I don't have the energy to enjoy it fully. As well, if I need energy for things later, how do I know this new activity's not going to suck out all my reserve?
- Cost -- I live on a tight budget. Depending on the cost of whatever this new activity is, I may now have to re-do all my math for other activities I want to pursue that week/month.
- Time -- I have other things on the go a lot of the time. Many are commitments that I can't just drop to make way for something new. And if I can make time, it still often means a mental re-shuffle of the sequence of events I'd originally had planned for that chunk of time. Sometimes that takes a lot of effort.
But surely I can let go a little bit.
I don't know how this will look for 2011. I don't know where to start. And things like scheduled commitments and tight budgets aren't just going to go away. But there's got to be room for spontaneity. I'm ready for it.
3 comments:
Tree: apple. I wish you success with your word for 2011! (And be gentle with yourself...)
It can be tough to be spontaeneous - I find it tough for many of the same reasons you do (though I'm not on quite as tight of a budget... close.)
As you do describe yourself as an introvert, have you considered that some of those reasons, especially the mental juggling of things to do, a particularly introvert thing? I know that I myself prefer to know what is coming up ahead of time, and I have a friend who is very introverted who needs to know even several days in advance what the plan will be if we are going to go out for a meal or a movie.
I definitely think some of the challenge comes from being an introvert--mostly the energy factor.
When my week goes as scheduled, I know exactly how much social energy I have and where it's going. But if something new comes up, I then have to figure out how to make sure I won't be completely drained before I get a chance to recharge. Thus, the less advanced notice I am given, the harder it generally is to throw into the mix of what's already going on.
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